Dealing with these things and mental health, I have at this point in my life, come to believe I am a self-identified addict. It doesn’t matter why, I always would have found a way and ended up where I did. My worst days in the end of my using looked like homelessness, not eating or eating food from behind supermarkets in dumpsters and ripping and running, lying and stealing.
It is very important to share that I went to treatment and still did not get sober the first, second or even third time. However, I did eventually get involved, listen, do some suggestions and get a sponsor and was able to string together some days. I think this is especially important for anyone struggling or their families to know that it’s never too late. Everyone is different and we all have different stories. It took me longer than some. What I can tell you is that now that I have committed myself to the recovery process and truly learned what that means and why I was so different, why I never fit in, why everything was so difficult and why I could not stop even when I saw the destruction that my using was causing in my life and physical health.
My life has dramatically changed. It did not happen overnight, but I am so much happier. I can be a productive member of society instead of a problem and stressor to my family and those around me. I can work and show up and take care of myself. I have great relationships with people in my 12 step program, my family, and my partner. I have a child in my life today that I can help take care of, and I am happy. So to anyone struggling and questioning what to do, where to go, how to get help…I would say you are not alone. There are others who understand, and we want to help. Reach out to resources or attend 12 step meetings. Get online and look for help, you would be amazed no matter how bad you think your situation is, how great it can become.
